Four

Sweet Mason,

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be a mother. Four years ago today, you helped me achieve that lifelong desire. 

Today is your birthday. You were born at 12:31pm. You're delivery was fast. You had such a sweet cry. You were beautiful and tiny. We loved you instantly. 

I wish I could have given you more cuddles and kisses on that day you were born and the even more over the next two and a half days. I know it wouldn't have changed at thing, but I that's the sort of thing a mommy does for her newborn baby and you were deprived of it due to both of our circumstances. 

If you were here with us today we would be shouting birthday wishes from the rooftop for you, eating crazy amounts of sugar and having crazy fun with family and friends. But my son, that would be nothing in comparison to the celebrations you're having in Heaven.  I have to remind myself daily that you are truly lucky to know no pain, no suffering, no bad. You're so blessed, dear Mason.

You are blessed and truly loved on your birthday and that's everything a mother wants for her child on this day.

I love you, miss you and can't wait to be with you! 

Always and forever, 

Your Mommy