Showing posts with label 2 years. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2 years. Show all posts
Thursday, February 06, 2014
Monthly Noah: twenty-four
holy cow... This snuck up on me like WOAH. My kid is two... I can't even handle it. I have cried about this several times this week alone. I remember looking at his first ultrasound picture and not being able to imagine that he would ever be in my arms. I remember his first cry and the sheer joy I had when he touched my skin for the first time. I remember his very fist bath and his first night in the hospital. I remember so many key moments in his first year... but crazily enough his second year of life carried quadruple the memories and quadruple the excitement. This boy has brought me every happiness I had ever hoped for in being a mommy and helped me gain so much in what I missed out on with his brother, Mason. I am SO lucky to have spent every single day of his life with him. He has NO idea how lucky we are to have him in our lives. We are so blessed.
okay... sap-fest done.
In the last month Noah has started talking like such a little adult. He tells me things like "mama, I use fork" whenever I try to spoon-feed him at dinner. Or "Daddy is home... I love him" or "I like to ride my scoot-ter". He tells me things constantly. He sings along with songs on the radio (even if he's never heard them before) or best is when he sings them while we are walking around the grocery store. He yells out embarrassing body parts in the middle of public places for all to hear. He is all boy and recently decided that he thinks its funny when he makes things toot or burp. His stuffed animals and toys have all burped and tooted like crazy recently... I have no idea where he even got that.
He's really into cleaning and sorting and then full on mess-making. I guess you can make a better mess when you are working with a clean slate?
He has the most tender and sweet-loving heart. If he knows you, he will hug on you and kiss you. He's already noticing girls and I am already scoping out all boys schools.
He is still pretty tiny and can wear 18 month clothes. His shoe size is a size 5. He still loves that pacifier WAAAY too much, but otherwise has no other attachments. He likes counting a whole lot and loves "monies" and playing with coins he finds around the house or where ever else we might be.
Noah had his 2 year check-up and his pediatrician was really impressed with his verbal advancements. I was really hoping he would have gained more weight considering how much this kid eats, but I guess that wouldn't be consistent with the past would it? Anyways she said she wasn't worried and we didn't have to come back again until his 3-year check-up! He received two vaccines and we were out the door. It was so fast and kind of anti-climactic, but I know Noah was glad to have it all over with after getting his shots.
Friday, September 28, 2012
should be packing or even sleeping
but instead I am thinking and wanting to write out what's in my mind.
WARNING: This post has to do with my current emotional state.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
antsy
lately I have been on edge. Maybe it's the lack of sleep... or maybe it's something more. I can feel my internal clock telling me it's almost Mason's birthday and death day. It's like my heart is setting itself to start to sink deep into the pit of my stomach, inching lower and lower until it finally hits rock bottom.
Important dates are really hard for anyone who has lost a loved one, so it's no surprise that it would be difficult for a mother who has lost her baby. I know many of you are thinking that with Noah in my life I should be over this, but I cannot help but think about what could (no, SHOULD) have been. In less than two years I have had two babies and yet I am only raising one.
It's really really really really really really hard. REALLY?
I don't know how else to put it.
I spend so much time putting on a happy face for Noah, my family and my friends that often times there is no energy left for myself to openly express how am feeling. So those emotions get shoved into a box and put back in my mind. I have about 6,000 boxes back there, so my mind is literally spilling out with aches and pains.
I just wish I could hold him one last time. One last time while he was still breathing and we were sill so excited about the possibility of him coming home with us. One more chance to stroke his soft downy skin and kiss his teeny tiny fingers. Where did that time even go?
Important dates are really hard for anyone who has lost a loved one, so it's no surprise that it would be difficult for a mother who has lost her baby. I know many of you are thinking that with Noah in my life I should be over this, but I cannot help but think about what could (no, SHOULD) have been. In less than two years I have had two babies and yet I am only raising one.
It's really really really really really really hard. REALLY?
I don't know how else to put it.
I spend so much time putting on a happy face for Noah, my family and my friends that often times there is no energy left for myself to openly express how am feeling. So those emotions get shoved into a box and put back in my mind. I have about 6,000 boxes back there, so my mind is literally spilling out with aches and pains.
I just wish I could hold him one last time. One last time while he was still breathing and we were sill so excited about the possibility of him coming home with us. One more chance to stroke his soft downy skin and kiss his teeny tiny fingers. Where did that time even go?
If I seem absent at all from the blog lately it's because I am just trying to process everything. I cannot believe that October 11 & 13 makes it 2 years. I feel so far away from that part of my life, which is a double edged sword. That was such a dark time in my life and I wouldn't want to go back to that pain and sadness, but also a wonderful time in my life because I gave birth to a beautiful and perfect little baby; one whom I will always love and cherish and I wish every moment of every day that I could relive every precious moment with him.
What do you even do with that? How can one person have such polar opposite thoughts?
Guess it will always be this way...
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