I haven't said much in a while. I've not really been in a good place.
This morning I woke up with my mind thinking of Heaven and Mason. How wonderful his life must be... Not tangled in the messes of this world. Not speaking politics or witnessing moments of hate that we are seeing a lot of these days. Just pure bliss.
Happy 6th Birthday, Mason!
When you were born I had more joy and love than I ever knew was possible. You were precious, perfect and came out kicking and screaming. So strong even though you were so tiny.
I wish that you were here on this day (and every day) so that I could know all about you. Your likes. Your dislikes. Your strengths. Your weaknesses. You'd be in kindergarten now and there would be all sorts of school stories to share at home. I wish I could see you interacting with your brother, Noah. Would you be thick as thieves or be the greatest of enemies? Would you and your sister, Olive get along? What would your favorite foods be? What would your favorite songs be? Favorite bedtime stories? The list goes on and on. Every day I find something that I'm missing out on; A new milestone missed. I have to stop myself most of the time because I could sit and ponder for hours.
My love, know I'm praying for the day that we meet again. To see your strawberry blonde hair and curious blue eyes. To cuddle you. To hear all of the joy you have known in your life in Heaven. To know that you were safe all these years.
I love you sweet boy.
-Mommy
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