Sadness

I can't believe I'm even writing about this. Our dear sweet dog, Gus, died last week (the day after Christmas). He was attacked (again!!) by big dog. We didn't even think that something like that would ever happen once let alone twice in our family... It really sucks.

This dog meant so much to our small family.  He was my little rock while I mourned the loss of our Mason.  I know he is a pet and that pets don't live as long as humans, but he was part of our family and we had a fantastic family dynamic with Gus in our lives.

I am completely devastated. Lots of tears. I just feel like I have failed Gus. And I'm so sad that people could own such cruel animals. Noah continues to ask for Gus. They were best buds.... I miss that little dog so much and I'm sad that Noah will never remember him in his life. I'm sad that our first pet as a married couple is gone. I'm just stinking sad.

I am so thankful that we were able to have some time with him after his mishap in November.  We had a PERFECT Christmas with Gus.  He came to Texas with us.  There were lots of cuddles.  I am sure he knew how much we loved him.  I just wish I could have held onto him a little longer.

Year 2011

I know this post is a little behind since it is 3 days into January, but I have been working on a few other things and it just slipped my mind that I should do a post.

2011 totally kicked my butt in so many ways.  I guess it was the year of learning.  I learned how to come back to LA despite how paralyzed with grief and afraid I was of being here.  I learned with to live through pain, keep smiling, keep moving.   I met many amazing people.  I started exercising and taking better care of my body.  I learned more about how to be proactive in my health care.  I learned as much as I could about how we could start a family.  I learned to interview doctors and be cautious.  I learned we were expecting our 2nd baby.  I learned how to trust in Him through this pregnancy even though I am scared 100% of the time.  I learned so much about sewing, creating and inventing.  I learned that my husband is a genius (I already knew this, but I am constantly RElearning this piece of information about him).  I learned my dog actually was house trained, but that I was not trained to respond to his cues.  I learned that more than anything I want to keep on learning and growing and fighting to keep going.  Lastly, I learned that I can do all these things and still miss our baby, Mason even though it hurts sometimes.

So long 2011, thank you for teaching me so much about myself.

This is me and one of my besties, Rachel, at the Standard Hotel on New Years Eve (It was also her birthday).