Trying to keep busy and excited.

I want to say that things are getting easier.  I am an emotional wreck right now.  I'm trying to keep myself busy and be excited, but it's difficult when I think about possibilities or even what I know from past experiences.

From looking over my medical charts, I know that I developed high blood pressure sometime in between my 22nd and 26th week of pregnancy, which means sometime about now really.  I also know that it was pretty sudden and that I did not feel bad at all during the time that it developed.  From 26 weeks to 30 weeks was a pretty tough time and I was in and out of the doctor's office/ hospital.  Then my pregnancy ended.  So for me, this is all I know.  This is where my pregnancy should be winding down because at week 30 I delivered a baby.  Gosh, I know I shouldn't be thinking this way, but it's hard not to when you went through that much trama.  I just keep thinking that something is coming.  There is a dark cloud looming overhead.

God please let me ignore this cloud... let me enjoy this time you have blessed me with... let me forget my fears and worries and put my full trust in you.