5 years ago

I lay in the hospital pregnant with Mason. I was only 29 weeks. I had been in the hospital once before while I was pregnant, but they let me go home for bedrest in hopes that it was just a fluke and my pressures would drop. I never once thought the worst might happen. In my mind everything was good.  I was a Christian girl who did everything right. Ate the right things and did whatever the doctors said. Prayed over our baby throughout the day.  Things had to work out. Bad things couldn't happen to a good person.  I almost chuckle at my naivety now.

A week later I would be delivering our sweet, premature son. And then a few days later he would be gone from our lives.  It feels so surreal. Was that even my life?